That Drifting Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the TV landscape of the past year, a handful of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the programmes that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with woeful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. Briefly, as the final series started, it looked like it had finally found its groove. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too symbolic. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the smallest of this drama's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The hilariously leaden writing? The tedious glorification of affluence and materialism? The seemingly wilful parade of tropes? Acting so bad they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we understood it was preposterous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Shady characters convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the extent to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into quaint homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to say them. Instead, the experience was akin to consuming a marketing brochure. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from oddly jaunty, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

Prime Target

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a discovery that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – intellectuals honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for explicit escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.